Pepper Recap! Runs Win A Heartbreaker

Hoppers Got Cousined By The Voldemort of Pepper

Hoppers Got Cousined By The Voldemort of Pepper

Today was the first day that I actually saw the sun. I’ve been holed up in a cave somewhere deep in the New Mexico desert. No I didn’t have my arm jammed between two rocks, yes I am still upset that Craig Kimbrel played like his arm was jammed between two rocks. Ouch this season stung. I think it was Ricky Bobby who said it best “If you ain’t first you’re last.” I have to admit that most seasons, Jody, Yosh and Spears for the most part have run away with the championship. This year was not like that, I placed everything I had into winning it this year and I didn’t. It’s okay, I even bought six shirtzees, that’s right, on the last night of the season I was wearing all six, including the Cody Ross one, even though I decided to dump him 3 hours before his best run of the season. Three trades and 118 transactions later, I’m staring at a crazy decision for 2012 hold-overs and a second place finish from 2011.

NOW!! I want to start a new tradition…giving away some awards for fantasy greats and duds. Feel free to chime in, but as I watched probably 500 games this year, I was heavily invested…Seriously my second wife almost left me. HAHAHA

Here we go:

No Pepper Fantasy CY Young: Ian Kennedy, Shandler’s List— This is the pitcher that made the biggest impact for his Fantasy squad right…21 wins and drafted 119, Yosh actually grabbed Furcal and Kuroda ahead of him. WOW! I realize that Kershaw was the ace for the “Team I will Not Mention That Finished in First Place” but Kennedy was just outright dominant and he was drafted 119.

No Pepper Fantasy MVP: Prince Fielder, Davis Hoppers — Again, Matt Kemp was amazing, but he was on the 6th place team. The Hoppers dominated RBI, HR and Runs all because of the Prince of Bad Hair. Love this kid and hope he stays in the NL.

No Pepper Fantasy Guy Dumped and Picked-Up The Most : Tyler Colvin, FA— Dropped 8 times and picked up 7! Colvin is the winner of another more prestigious award later in the ceremony. The Pimps kept “Regret Fucking” him.

No Pepper Fantasy Least Valuable Hitter: Pedro Alvarez, Gold Hats & Tyler Colvin, FA — Pedro was a keeper and he just flat out Ankieled the year. You know when Ankiel use to pitch. Colvin was drafted 125 one pick after my dubious Berkman pick. Uggh. Now guess the Fantasy lines 18/4/19/1/.191 and 17/6/20/0/.150 Ouch.

No Pepper Least Valuable Pitcher: Carlos Zambrano, FA — Here’s why, he was held on the Hopper roster from draft to fake retirement. He posted 9 wins a 4.82 ERA and 1.44 WHIP. It doesn’t look that bad, but when you think that I started him for all 20 starts, that’s painful.

No Pepper Player You Held-Over and Most Wanted to Drop: Jason Heyward, Shandler’s List — 50/14/42/9.228 that was his contribution to Yosh. I wouldn’t say he was the biggest keeper bust, but he sure was the guy that did the most damage to a team’s roster.

No Pepper 1st Half Heartburn Award: Dan Uggla, Hoppers — He had 340 ABs and hit .180….180! He hit .296 in the second half. Just painful.

No Pepper 2nd Half Cialis Award: Javier Vazquez, METL — Are you kidding me? He was better than every pitcher in baseball for the last 30 days of the season. He pitched 19 straight innings without giving up a run. WTF

No Pepper Player You Wished Was Still Juicing: Adam LaRoche, Pimps— He still played 42 games and only hit .172. Almost as bad as Dunn over in the AL, well nobody was that bad.

No Pepper Most Hated Player of the League: Scott Cousins, FA — Umm he was the reason why all the Giant pitchers blew ass and he was the reason why the Giant hitters had the worst RISP BA for any team over the past 32 years. The team hit .172 with runners in scoring position. Not shitting you… .172. Buster will be back and so will all of us. Let’s name the players he killed in one shitty dickface play

Great season boys and I look forward to next year! See in the desert.

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